Real life problems

I haven't been happy lately, and the comical/sad thing is that I'm always in such a hurry it took quite some time to figure out I wasn't content. I noticed on my clothes becoming smaller. I don't think they've shrunk in the laundry - it's me - and I always gain weight when I'm on the verge of burn-out. I think it's my body's defense system trying to prepare for inevitable hard times.

After I realized I have a problem it took several more weeks to figure out what was wrong. You probably got in the first sentence of this post; I'm always in a hurry. Stress. When you're the one stuck in the rat-race it's less evident.

My days go like this:
7 AM, alarm goes off. I get up, pull on a robe, take the dogs out, and feed them.
7:30 AM, shower, dress, breakfast, check e-mail, make lunch, kiss hubs
8:15 AM, to the car, drive to work
9:00 AM, arrive at work and stay there until way too late
5:45 PM, drive home
6:30 PM, arrive at house. Make dinner. eat dinner.
7:30 PM, work on contracted jobs, my books, screenplays, and do marketing
11:30 PM, go to bed.
Do Loop.

Saturday and Sunday are the same, except for the driving part. Add in the laundry and housework I didn't do during the week... You get the picture. The other day hubs said, "I don't have any clean shirts." I said, "You know where the laundry machine is." 

This schedule doesn't seem healthy, not even to me. I'm a talented workaholic, but even with oceans of coffee and previously unseen amounts of fast food to save time on cooking, I can't keep it up.

The problem is that I'm our main provider. If I stop working, we also stop paying the bills. Sure, I make some money on my own writing and on contract jobs for the pet industry, but thus far it hasn't been enough to provide for two adults and four dogs.

I don't know what to do. I would be an unhappy person if I didn't do my own writing; besides hubs and the doggies this is the most important part of my life. I'm not willing to give up writing for the pet industry either, because I love doing that.

To make things worse, we're about to move my daytime job a half hour drive further from my house. My husband said, "Good, then you'll quit there and not be away so much." Great idea, but then what will we eat? On the other hand he's right; my daytime job cannot take eleven hours a day. It's already making me sick.

Change jobs? Maybe. I like what I do, but in the long run it might not be worth it. We'll see...

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