Saturday, November 22, 2014

Real life problems

It has been a long time since I blogged. Months. I've been too exhausted and most of this fall is a blur, so even when I've encountered blog-worthy things I haven't gotten around to writing about them.

So, where are we at?

You might remember the husband got the big C in a big way. We're both hanging in. He got chemotherapy for months and we went to get radiation treatments every day for seven weeks, and it hardly put a dent in that thing. The doctor said the tumor shrunk from 8 cm to 6 and then went right back up to 8 again.

Disheartening, but we live in a time of medical miracles, and we're trying a new chemotherapy cocktail. This one is much more aggressive and pretty much knocks him out for days - he can't eat or drink - so every time he gets it we have to go to Sarasota every day for the rest of that week so he can get fluids.

All this sounds pretty easy in writing, but I'm spent. I'm so exhausted I barely know my name some days.

The day he gets his treatment I drop him off in the morning, go back to check in on him during lunch, and go get him in the evening. The only do infusions once a week here in Bradenton, so the other days we have to go to the Sarasota office. It's 45 minutes away, and these are whole day adventures. The whole operation takes at least five hours, but often longer.

Of course, he'll be sick during the nights, which wakes everyone up. Sleep is good. I miss sleeping.

All this still wouldn't be so bad, if it wasn't for bills, and life, lol. People - especially the ones working with health care - think I can spend all my time taking care of hubs. They really think I have nothing to do besides caring for him. I guess other people have fairies that take care of everything else?

In reality, everything we both used to do is now on my plate. There's everyday stuff like cooking, dishes, dogs, laundry, cleaning, yard work, and so on, but also finding money for us.

I have to pay everything everyone else has to pay. All those bills don't stop just because one person is sick. Mortgage, power, water, phones, insurances, car payments, food, dog food, credit card bills... And then there are healthcare bills. We owe more to healthcare providers than our house is worth. I never thought it was possible to owe someone more money for anything than for a house.

I could pull the everyday stuff off if I could put in the time, but when being away with him at 20-30 hours every week... You get the picture.

I'm not saying this to complain; I still have a roof over my head and we're all fed. I'm just saying it so you'll understand why I'm absent and grumpy.

My local friends here are wonderful, especially the family for whom I used to work. They have been angels, and I can't thank them enough for their support.

Okay, let's talk about something more light hearted, or I fear you'll never want to come back to my blog again, lol.

Early this week, hubs felt good enough to take himself to the pharmacy to pick up more medicine. It is a long and outdrawn process because of all the pill mills Florida used to have, and I was grateful to be spared an hour at CVS. I sat in my office, typing away on a project, and I heard a male voice say something. I couldn't make out the words, but it was definitely a man's voice coming in the direction of our living room.

It made me jump in my seat and my heart race.

It wasn't my husband - when he comes home all the dogs go crazy happy.

Boo Bear barked as if there were an intruder in the room, but the other three dogs didn't make a sound.

I went to look. The living room was empty - except for Boo Bear barking at the front door. Ellie must have been sleeping right inside the door, because she was looking up with an expression of "What's with all the noise?"

If there really had been someone in the house, all the dogs would have been going bonkers. Bonnie loves people, but she wouldn't let someone in without telling me.

I threw a quick status update up on Facebook just in case someone was really there and I would disappear, and went with Boo to look through the house.

No one inside.

No one outside.

If he hadn't heard the voice too I would have thought I was dreaming.

My theories cover everything from a ghost to someone peeking in through the front door, realizing they were in the wrong house.

The comical thing is that one of my heroines would have undertaken this search task armed with something - knife, baseball bat, something - while calling for help, because my heroines have self preservation instinct. Me, not so much.

I have a gun - in the office. I put it there after the big police thing we had here a few months ago, and it would take a couple of seconds to grab it. An intruder could have been in the house. Did I bring my gun?

Nope. I brought my cell phone and a furry little dog. In retrospect I'm surprised I didn't grab my coffee cup, LOL.

I guess my life expectancy if there were an actual disaster wouldn't be all that good.

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