Sunday, April 26, 2020

That's not what "leave me alone" means...

There's a super annoying guy in my village. I've been trying to be patient with him - he has some form of brain damage - but at this point in time, my patience is wearing thin. I keep telling him to leave me alone, but I'm starting to think he doesn't know what it means.

It all started when I got a friends request on Facebook from someone in my village. I accepted and forgot about it. Then, he started sending long, rambling messages, and I felt like this was going in a direction I wasn't comfortable with, so I responded that I am a very busy person and I want to be left alone.

He kept sending messages, I ignored them, and every now and then he sent a message asking why I wasn't responding.

The first time, I explained how my life works, that I can't be the friend he's looking for, and that I want him to leave me alone.

He kept writing, I kept ignoring him, and he kept asking why I wasn't answering. Every time I wrote back, "I've have asked you to leave me alone. Please leave me alone."

I finally blocked him on Facebook.

He started showing up at my office, tried to make me invite him over for Christmas, asked me to come over and clean his windows, follows me around the stores, and lately he has started showing up at my house.

He also keeps trying to get to walk my dogs. They're too strong and wild for him - he'd lose them in about five seconds. It's not happening.

It's driving me crazy.

What do you do when a person doesn't understand "leave me alone" - no matter how many times you say/write it? How do you get rid of them?

I've had people follow me around the village before, like that guy a couple of years ago who came to my office every day, but my home is MY space. I need people to accept that.

I shouldn't yell at him, because if he doesn't have the mental capacity to understand "leave me alone" he won't understand the words shouted at him any better, but I'm going to snap soon and yell anyway.

I don't want to be his friend. I don't want him in my life. That sounds really mean in writing, but it's still true.

How would you handle this?

March had 330 days...

I saw a meme on Facebook about 2020. It's an unusual leap year: February had 29 days, March around 330, and April is five years long. Completely true - and I guess it proves that time is relative.

Even though the months are very long, I haven't been here on my blog for some time. My mom died from the virus a couple of weeks ago. She was in an assisted living facility, and they closed them to visitors the day before she fell ill. So when the nurse called to tell me, they couldn't let me come visit her. I thought it would be possible to suit up in something and be with your loved ones the last few days, at least hold her hand and let her hear my voice, but that was a firm no.

I also thought they'd take the elderly to the hospital if they fell ill, but that was in the old world. In this new and improved (???) world, elderly persons get to stay where they are. If they're strong enough to make it, they make it.

We're not having a funeral at this point in time - in Sweden you're still allowed to have groups up to 50 people, but I will not risk making this worse. Just imagine putting all remaining relatives in the same room... Not happening. There's a memorial area by mom's favorite church in her home village, and when summer comes we'll spread her ashes there. It will be outside, and maybe by then the situation will have calmed down enough for people to be able to meet.

It's surreal. I haven't even been able to go to the facility to gather her things.

In media, there are many discussions about how Sweden has chosen to handle the virus. We haven't had a major lockdown; just guidelines for social distancing. Some international media make it sound like life here goes on as usual - that is not true - but we have fewer restrictions than many others.

I think we've been right about some things - you can only quarantine people for so long, and it isn't possible to shut a society down for as long as it will take for this to blow over.

I also think we've been wrong about some things - our health officials have taken many international findings with a shrug and refused to acknowledge information until it was too late. For instance, that asymptomatic persons can be carriers and infect others.

Many try to compare other nations with the "Swedish Model." That is unfair to leaders all over the world - our societies, habits, and peoples are so different at the best of times. In Sweden, we have a certain amount of faith in our leaders, and we're fairly good at following advice from the authorities. They've told us it's best to stay a couple of meters apart, and many of us practically self-quarantine. Stores offer hand sanitizer and gloves at the entrances, and have marked out appropriate distances on the floor. Without being ordered to do so.

How are things going where you live? Are you worried about society reopening? Looking forward to it? Tell us all about it!

That's not what "leave me alone" means...

There's a super annoying guy in my village. I've been trying to be patient with him - he has some form of brain damage - but at this...